I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Send help, water and tortillas.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
