You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
