i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
