Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
