At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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