yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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