He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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