Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
