standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
do nipples grow back?
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