Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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