just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
