So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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