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She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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