hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if only i could text you this smell
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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