Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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