**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
