In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
