I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
