i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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