party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
