I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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