Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
