so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
