Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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