i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
did i just pee glitter
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
