he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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