He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
