Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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