i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
