i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
