and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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