sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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