I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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