this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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