is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
