I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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