I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
