Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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