I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
