How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
