the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
