My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're a waste of cheezeits
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
