last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
