how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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