It was confusing and full of hummus
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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