Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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