i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
