I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
