I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
