so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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