How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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