Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
