I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
