This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
